The most talked about moment from Thursday night’s Republican debate was Donald Trump’s crude penis joke. Because the penis joke got such great mileage, we decided to help Donald Trump out by translating his other talking points into penis jokes.
“Planned Parenthood does great things for women. Like my penis.” Feel free to use this one Donald, and be sure to hold for the laugh break.
“There are lines around the states! Reminds me of the lines to see my penis.” When Rubio cuts in to remind you that you don’t have an actual, workable healthcare plan. You can accuse him of not having an actual penis. Again… hold for the laugh break.
“My penis is so sick of winning.” You’d think people would be sick of the sick-of-winning line by now, but the poll numbers don’t reflect that, so you might as well lean into it.
“The Better Business Bureau rated my penis a D-, but when they got the information, it was elevated to an A! I can show it to you!” We know that the BBB doesn’t rate penises, but it also never re-rated Trump University.
“The wall is going to be 50 feet tall, and technically immigrants could use my penis to pole vault over the wall. But I’m not gonna let ’em. We’ve gotta have a border.” This wall is your biggest talking point… besides your penis… so be sure to save it for your big close.
“All I’m saying is no one was talking about my penis before I brought it up. Now everybody wants to talk about it.” It’s funny because it’s true.