Guess how many fucks Cristiano Ronaldo gives about FIFA


Someone wanted to know what Cristiano Ronaldo thought about FIFA and Qatar, for reasons unknown. So he asked the Real Madrid and Portugal superstar.

In case you can’t completely understand the translator, Ronaldo said this:

“I don’t care about FIFA, Qatar, I don’t give a fuck. Speak about FIFA, come on.”

And that’s when he walked out.

So there you have it. Ronaldo gives zero fucks.

Frighteningly, if Ronaldo did give a fuck and took a strong stand on the issue, it might actually have an impact. If he said he thinks people dying and human rights being violated in order to stage a soccer tournament is more impactful than, you know, the actual people dying and human rights being violated.

But FIFA is also a bunch of bullshit that Ronaldo would be insane to get into. Who wants to wade into that mess and deal with all the crap that comes with it? Those people are both saints and masochists.

UPDATE: The full transcript of the CNN Español conversation with Ronaldo has been released. It’s truly wonderful. And, somehow, this is all real. Here are a few of the highlights:

Andres Oppenheimer (AO) (Spanish): Cristiano, many thanks for joining us. Before asking you about your new line of sporting headphones that you’ve come to the U.S. to launch, we have to ask you about the issue in football that has been in the spotlight of the entire world: the corruption scandal surrounding FIFA. Question — how is the corruption scandal at FIFA affecting playing on the field of play? Is it something that worries you?

Cristiano Ronaldo (CR) (Spanish): Do you want me to be honest? (yes.) It doesn’t worry me at all. (why is that?) I do my profession, my job, I give me all for my club…the rest doesn’t matter to me. I don’t care what happens on the outside.

You can already tell that this is either going to be the most candid interview ever given by Ronaldo or a complete train wreck. Most votes will probably sway toward “train wreck.”

AO (Spanish): What do you guys talk about [in the locker room]?

CR (Spanish): About music, about women, about fashion, about shoes, about suitcases/bags, about jewelry, about haircuts…any more (you want me to list?)

*dies laughing* SUIT … CASES AND … *gasps for air* BAGS! HAIRCUTS! IT’S EVERYTHING WE ALL WANTED! *collapses*

AO (Spanish): You know, I don’t believe you…it’s difficult to believe it. Cristiano, the whole world is talking about it.

Oh no. Votes are swinging overwhelmingly toward “train wreck.”

AO (Spanish): Cristiano, one of the related issues that people talk about is the World Cup in Qatar. Many sports figures say that to play…

CR: snapping fingers…

Yup. Here we go.

Someone in the background (Spanish): OK, this isn’t…

CR (English): This is, this is bullshit.

Someone in the background (Spanish): We’re trying to talk about…

CR (English): I can’t speak like that. This is bullshit. Speak about FIFA, I don’t care about FIFA. And Qatar…I don’t give a fuck. What you want me to do? (gestures with hand). Speak about product, he speaks about FIFA…come on. (walks off)