Several months ago, we brought you an exclusive Soccer Gods report unveiling Liverpool legend Steven Gerrard’s potential new home in Malibu. At the time, the Gerrards were perusing the inventory on Craigslist, knowing a move to Los Angeles was around the corner.
But the wait is over. Steven Gerrard has officially joined the LA Galaxy. They’ve taken pictures and everything.
That also means that the Gerrards have found a place to live. No, it isn’t the Malibu pad we revealed all those months ago. (Oops.) The Gerrards will be living lavishly in Beverly Hills, in 12,000 square feet of elegant living space.
Their new home, built in 2001, features panoramic views of the city, and could have been yours for a listing price of $55,000 a month (or approximately $13.5 million, if you’re a buyer) if you were vigilant with your Craigslist searches for “McMansion.” Your money also would have leased (or bought) six bedrooms, eight baths, an elevator, and, because you were dying to know, central air.
But enough of the words; let’s take a tour of Anfield Junior Manor on the Hill.
Please, come inside. It’s already furnished.
It’s a lovely entrance, and environmentally conscious, which is great considering California doesn’t have any water. (Ignore the water park at the back of the house, though.)
Oh, what’s that? A glamorous staircase? You can find a house with one of these if you type in “prom staircase” in the Craigslist search box.
But suppose you get tired of walking up and down those stairs wearing catwalk clothes while smoking Cohibas and yelling out Jack Nicholson lines? Well, then you retire to the living room, of course.
Or the parlor, where Stevie G will be able to bang out a few Liverpool-themed ballads about homesickness and lads for the family.
Or maybe even just watch a little tele. Maybe catch a few games from back home and see how Firmino‘s adapting to life under ol’ Brenden Rodgers.
Halftime: As I came across these pictures and threw them into Slack, Zac Lee Rigg asked, “H
I responded: “Need a couple of MLS minimum salary players to take care of it for beer money.”
And that’s real. Gerrard could subsidize a few players and even house them in the garage or something. Jose Villarreal and Bradford Jamieson IV could probably take a wing of Anfield Manor and not bother anyone. You have to look after up and coming talent, right? As a matter of fact, they could just watch TV in here and leave the Gerrards at peace.
Simple, clean, yet elegant. And there’s nothing to break. Furthermore, because this second lounge is isolated, the Gerrards won’t hear the video games and banter from the bedroom where they’ll be staring out over the night lights, as a fire flickers in the background.
Oh, man. The Gerrards must laugh into a bag when they hear about parity. Or they could just go into the kitchen and do it.
Or out back to the pool, lounge, deck area, where they can relax and …
… look out at everyone who doesn’t have any water.
Shout out to Steven Gerrard and his family. Soccer still has a ways to go in America, but apparently, it has no problem paying for all of this luxuriousness. Congratulations on living the American dream, Stevie. And I mean that with all due respect. Just make sure you buy some beer for the lads, too, and have a few sleepovers.