Sepp Blatter has decided to skip the Women’s World Cup final

Sepp Blatter will not be in Vancouver for the Women’s World Cup final. He’ll be staying in Switzerland instead.

The FIFA president told tournament organizers that personal reasons would keep him from attending the final, while his second in command, Jerome Valcke, will also be missing from the biggest match in women’s soccer.

Now an understanding person might argue that Blatter knows how important the match is and that he really should be there, but sometimes things happen in a person’s life that take precedence over everything else. And who knows, that might be true. But anyone whose first thought was to believe Blatter is a sucker.

Blatter has attended every Women’s World Cup since he was elected FIFA president in 1998. His sudden inability to make it probably has nothing to do with personal reasons, unless those reasons are not wanting to go somewhere he is almost universally reviled. He wash;t exactly popular in North America and Western Europe before a slew of FIFA executives were indicted for bribery and corruption, but he became a full-on pariah after.

Maybe if the players wore tighter shorts he’d show up.