Felipe Melo has launched a video game where he and a pit bull stave off zombie apocalypses

If you’ve ever thought there just isn’t enough soccer in The Walking Dead, former Brazil international Felipe Melo is here to help.

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He’s launched Felipe Melo Z, a videogame app in which you help the Galatasaray midfielder and his pitbull, Kyra, build defensive towers in the middle of a soccer field that has been invaded by zombies. Obviously.

Synopsis: “The World of Football is subjected to a zombie apocalypse and the world leaders decide to call the general Felipe Melo to kill them all.”

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There are more questions than answers. Why are the zombies targeting soccer? Why have world leaders called on the combative 31-year-old to solve the problem? When did he have time to reach such a high military rank while pursuing a professional soccer career? What were the makers of this game smoking?

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It’s possible, in the wake of this and Cristiano Ronaldo’s digital offering, which sees him dodging paparazzi in Las Vegas with a skateboarding troll, that we are seeing the emergence of a new trend that will revolutionize videogaming by placing soccer in dystopian alternate-reality settings. Give it five years and FIFA 20 will feature power-ups, weaponized goalkeepers, chainsaw-wielding substitutes and orc referees.

The authors add:

If you accept the challenge you will be a Felipe Melo soldier and you will help him in his mission. And, if you do it well, you can unlock his special celebrations. Do you want to see Felipe Melo doing the Pitbull Celebration? Or dedicating you a military greeting? You can do it! Just play Felipe Melo Z! Waves and waves of zombies are waiting for you!

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Yours for $1.11.

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