Liverpool is out there making waves in the transfer market again. This time, Liverpool manager Brendan Rodgers, seeking to bolster the number of Brazilians in his squad, has added Hoffenheim attacking talent Roberto Firmino — also affectionately referred to as “the next Neymar” — to his ranks.
Non-Bundesliga watchers may have seen the young Brazilian’s cameos for Brazil in 2014, in a series of friendlies against Turkey and Austria. At the time, people on broadcasts said the words “next Neymar” several times. But what do we really know about Firmino? To answer that, let’s head to his Instagram account, where all answers sleep.
1. Firmino is stealing Neymar’s identity
Someone broke into Neymar’s hair supplies bunker and stole his peroxide. But what can you expect from a 23-year-old still trying to find his way. Wait. What’s that? Right. Neymar’s also 23. You have to find yourself, Firm.
2. Firmino is trying to break into NSFW Instagram
Bro. Children are watching.
3. Firmino is turning into Neymar and Dani Alves
One of Firmino’s hobbies seems to be riding around in his car singing while filming himself riding around in his car signing. That’s cool. If that seems familiar, maybe that’s because his national team teammates Neymar and Dani Alves also thoroughly enjoy riding in their cars singing Brazilian songs and filming themselves riding in their cars singing Brazilian songs.
Here’s Neymar riding:
Firmino may have to find his own identity in Liverpool. That, or he needs to step up his car singing game.
4. Firmino baptized his baby in shorts
Liverpool already has several players who probably would baptize children in shorts: Raheem Sterling (who was a Liverpool player last I checked Twitter), Daniel Sturridge, and Simon Mignolet. Clearly, Liverpool has signed an unconventional player. But remember, unconventional can be good or bad.
This is bad:
5. Firmino is a witch
This is either witchcraft or the magic of cameras and editing. But allow yourself to have some fun for a change, will you? Believe that this is magic, and that Firmino wouldn’t have fared will in Salem, Massachusetts in the late 17th century.
It looks as if Firmino will be a fine addition to Rodgers’ group at Anfield. That is, until the Madrid transfer rumors start next year.