Ryan Babel started a web series but it might just be an elaborate ploy to move to MLS

Guys. Guys. Ryan Babel started a web series.

This is important to your life.

Here’s how Babel presented it on his website:

Hi everyone,

I already told you that i come back with my vlogs. Today is my first episode of my own web series. In this web series i give you all a look inside my life, my life as a football player, my personal life and my business life. I hope you all like this first episode.

What’s Ryan Babel up to these days? I’m glad you asked. He’s playing for Kasımpaşa in Istanbul, Turkey. And he started a vlog. This is just one part of his pretty intense social media engagement, on his website, via his newsletter, on Twitter, or even by giving out his phone number.


This would all be great publicity for Kasımpaşa, one would assume, if he wasn’t also retweeting people suggesting he should return to the Premier League.


But he’s not in Wales. He’s at Kasımpaşa, a team that finished 13th in the Süper Lig last season.

What’s life like in Turkey for a Dutch international who used to play for Ajax and Liverpool? Let’s find out together in the first episode of his vlog.

Did you watch it? Seriously, go back and watch it.

Still need more convincing? Okay, here’s my favorite parts.


01 second: We start on a shaky shot of Babel’s face with no music or sound. He’s reinventing the medium, you guys.


18 seconds: Babel’s showing us inside the dressing room. He points, with his foot, at his seat, and then toward the seat of Ryan Donk, his only Dutch teammate. Then Babel says: “And the rest are not really relevant to you guys because I don’t think you guys know their names.”

Too real, Ryan. Too real. Sometimes it’s okay to not keep it 💯.


37 seconds: Babel is showing us around the stadium. “This is our home stadium. I think you can fit here 15,000 people. Kasımpaşa is a team with no real history yet.” Ryan Babel is giving you the hard sell.


52 seconds: Now Babel is a grandfather, and he has gathered you viewers around him by the fireplace. He’s telling you about his old playing days, back when gas was a nickel. “As far as my time here in Kasımpaşa, my first season we won 4-0 against Galatasaray. That was a great performance from our side. I played, actually, very well myself.”

I know it’s just a verbal tic, but that “actually” kills me. It actually kills me.


1:10: Just some random b-roll of a dude fishing. NBD.


1:52: Uh, oh. Babel is getting pensive. “I’m 28 at the moment. I think I still have at least another five years to go, hopefully longer. Yeah, I think I’m at a stage where I have to think about my future.”

I love love love that this is paired with b-roll of him looking at his phone. Just to remind you that he’s a youth and isn’t quite washed up yet. Nosiree, Babel definitely didn’t peak as a teenager and then ride the downward swirl through the rest of his career based on name alone. Nope.

He goes on:

“A couple of ideas in my head: Obviously I’m a big fan of the United States. Not necessarily football-wise, but just from the country, the lifestyle and everything. If it’s also a possibility to play there, anyway, that’s something obviously in the back of my mind.”

Good news, Ryan! There’s this new league in the U.S. called MLS. Perhaps your agent has heard of it? What’s that? Oh, he told you to make this video precisely as a calling card to get a job with NYCFC? Ah, gotchya.


2:14: Babel is describing his best home goal. He stands on the field and gestures at where it happened. “I managed to dribble all the way around the box. And, um, what people know me for around the game is: cut inside and pull the trigger with the right.” And then there’s a gunshot noise and a cutaway to a bunch of pigeons scattering. Bang.


2:42: “And that, my people, was the dressing room for the home games. Nothing major, we just come here to do the job. That’s it. Now we out.”

I’m going to start addressing groups as “my people.”


2:53: “My name is Ryan Babel. I want to share my life with you. Subscribe.”

Is this a proposal? Because the answer, obviously, is yes.