Swiss authorities seized nine terabytes of data to look into possible FIFA bribes

Nine terabytes of data! 53 possible cases of money laundering! 104 incidents of suspicious activity in Swiss bank accounts! 2018! 2022!

Oh, FIFA. This shit is ON.

Or, as Swiss attorney general Michael Lauber told reporters:

“I am well aware of the enormous public interest in our investigation. Equally enormous is the public interest in an independent criminal procedure. Our investigation is of great complexity and quite substantial. To give you an example: The SAG [Swiss attorney general’s office] has seized around nine terabytes of data. So far, our investigative team has obtained evidence concerning 104 banking relations; be aware that every banking relation represents several bank accounts.”

Famously, the Swiss authorities aren’t deeply enthusiastic about investigating what goes on in Swiss bank accounts. That’s kind of the point of Swiss bank accounts. But looks like those days of restraint and discretion are over. The Swiss are all in.

And after U.S. authorities created headlines with their “World Cup of fraud” soundbite, Lauber’s getting in on the fun: “By its nature, this investigation will take more than the legendary 90 minutes.”

Zinger!

Meanwhile in soccer-related one-liners, it’s good to see that despite being bashed from all sides, FIFA’s maintaining its magnificently high levels of hubris and chutzpah.

On Tuesday it accused the Nobel Peace Center of failing to “embody the spirit of fair play” by obstructing “the promotion of the key values of peace-building and anti-discrimination” after it ended its support of the Handshake for Peace initiative.

Yep. FIFA said that the Nobel Peace Center was failing to promote peace.

President of the Football Association of Zambia Kalusha Bwalya, center, shakes hand with the Director of the Nobel Peace Center Bente Erichsen after announcing the Handshake for Peace program during the second day session of the 62nd FIFA Congress in Budapest, Hungary, Friday, May 25, 2012. Standing at the left is FIFA President Joseph Blatter. (AP Photo/MTI, Laszlo Beliczay)AP

Announcing the Handshake for Peace program. (AP Photo/MTI, Laszlo Beliczay)

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