This week’s Pirlo rumor has him negotiating a deal in Australia, not New York

Are Australians about to steal Andrea Pirlo from us? Leave him alone, Sydney FC – he’s ours. We saw him first.

Pirlo was in tears after Juventus lost Saturday’s thrilling Champions League final to Barcelona in Berlin’s packed Olympic Stadium, either because of the result and the end of his career in Italy, or because he just realized that his next match might be for New York City FC against the New England Revolution on turf at a three-quarters empty Gillette Stadium.

Now Australians are trying to turn #sadpirlo into #strewthpirlo, according to a report in the Sydney Morning Herald which says representatives of the player and Sydney FC will meet this week, with the club hoping to persuade Pirlo to follow in the bootsteps of Alessandro Del Piero, who played for them between 2012 and 2014.

With Xavi already seemingly having snubbed the U.S. in favor of Qatar, if Pirlo also goes elsewhere it will be a serious setback for MLS’s cherished reputation as the world’s favorite retirement league.

Or he could, y’know, stay at Juventus. “Were my tears a goodbye to Juventus? No, they were for the defeat. It is the kind of opportunity that I will rarely get again,” he told Sky Italia.

Of course, all this talk about Pirlo moving to the Big Apple assumes he’s coming to play soccer. He could just as easily be planning to take up a senior executive position at the Museum of Modern Art, where he’d curate an exhibit about himself; probably a room full of televisions showing his best passes and free kicks on endless loops, while he sits in a chair in the corner all day, stroking his beard in a wise fashion.

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