Europe is over. The Champions League final has lowered the curtain on the continent’s 2014-15 season. Some are taking the finality of it all a bit harder than others. Following the 3-1 loss to Barcelona today, Juventus midfielder and sommelier Andrea Pirlo was adrift in a deep sea of emotion. A well of tears sprang forth from his usually unmoving face as he walked off the field, possibly for the last time in European competition.
It was one of the year’s most heartbreaking television moments, assuming you have a heart. I don’t, so here’s some #SadPirlo jokes . . .
“NYCFC plays in a baseball stadium?”
“No one paid the match officials?”
“You ran out of potato salad?”
“I’m tired of living a lie. I’ve been dying this beard since 1996.”
“This cabernet is from 2009?”
“I don’t even like football. All I’ve ever wanted to do was paint.”
“What if my new mixtape isn’t 🔥🔥🔥?”
“Why would they remake Point Break?”
“Francesco Totti won’t accept my friend request.”