Arsenal will not be punishing Jack Wilshere for any violations of banter protocols

Looking a bit like a Sportswear Jamiroquai in that hat, only notably less tuneful, perma-injured Arsenal midfielder Jack Wilshere attracted censure over the weekend for turning the club’s wholesome FA Cup trophy parade into an X-rated anti-Tottenham taunt-fest. Now The BBC reports that Arsenal will not be taking any action against Wilshere, other than to “remind him of his responsibilities” – though we wait to see if England’s Football Association will charge him on some kind of disrepute charge for corrupting the innocent youth of England with his demonic swearyness.

Of course, a large part of Arsenal’s support believes that one of its players’ key responsibilities is to loathe Tottenham as much as they do, though that’s probably not what the club meant. Certainly, since soccer fans never swear and are paragons of immaculate behavior at all times, especially during derby games, Wilshere deserves to be severely punished.

His transgression isn’t in the same league as Birmingham City legend Paul Tait, the benchmark for Wembley taunting, who unveiled a T-shirt on the field after the 1995 Auto Windscreens Shield final bearing the slogan “Shit on the Villa”. With a graphic.

We now wait to see if secretly-shot cellphone video will emerge of Arsène Wenger calling Emmanuel Adebayor a “sad wanker” and White Hart Lane a “crap ground” while quaffing Cristal from the FA Cup trophy at 4 a.m. in Soho. Though we may be waiting a long time.

Meanwhile, Galatasaray’s Wesley Sneijder took his side’s Turkish league title as a chance to mock its rivals, Fenerbahce. Can’t we all just get along?

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