Soccer fan and HBO’s Last Week Tonight host John Oliver isn’t afraid of taking FIFA to task for, well, being FIFA.
Two weeks ago, Oliver provided a brief update on the troubled non-profit organization in advance of its presidential elections. But now that the election is over and FIFA has overwhelmingly voted to give “President for Life” Sepp Blatter a fifth term, Oliver and his team have brandished the knives once again. Apparently, no one is safe.
This time, those caught in the Last Week Tonight wake include alleged FBI snitch and acclaimed cat person Chuck Blazer, the spectacularly and often hilariously allegedly corrupt former CONCACAF ringmaster Austin “Jack” Warner, as well as FIFA’s corporate sponsors.
Here are a few things Oliver vowed to do if sponsors can make Blatter go away:
“McDonalds, I will take a bite out of every item on your dollar menu, which tastes like normal food that was cursed by a vindictive wizard.”
“Budweiser, if you pull your support and help get rid of Blatter, I will…personally drink one of your disgusting items…It can be a Bud Light. I will even drink a Bud Light Lime, despite the fact that all the lime in the world cannot disguise the fact that this tastes like a puddle beneath a Long John Silver dumpster.”
Take it all in: