Wojciech Szczesny had to defend Arsène Wenger against the rantings of a father he hasn’t seen in two years

Your parents are embarrassing. From the time they put you in that ridiculous Easter outfit to pose for pictures at Sears, to the time they showed those same pictures to your prom date years later, the people who gave you life will go out of their way to make it feel like life isn’t worth living.

The worst is when one of your parents openly calls your legendary English Premier League manager a liar, amirite?! OK, maybe that isn’t a common fear, but it’s definitely happened to Arsenal goalkeeper Wojciech Szczesny. Here’s his father Maciej’s thoughts on Arsène Wenger and his son’s status with the club, as expressed on his personal blog (and reprinted by the Guardian):

“Mr Wenger is simply not loyal to people. He does not always keep his word and is not honest. Wenger claims there is a cigarette ash on his suit jacket whereas in fact it’s his own dandruff. In this situation, let him [Szczesny] depart, but only for a stronger team where he will compete with similar goals as Arsenal. He cannot go to Swansea like [Lukasz] Fabianski just to play, but to somewhere where he will be appreciated and not fall below a reputation which over the years has earned in London.”

If you’re keeping score, according to Pops, Wenger is a dry-scalped fraud, and Lil’ Szczesny — who can’t hold on to his starting job — needs to leave Arsenal for a “stronger team” so he can get consistent playing time. Sure. Why Not?

This is why people let their parents’ phone calls go to voicemail.

Wojciech Szczesny was put in the unenviable position of having to speak out against his father, lest notoriously emotional Gooners across the world think him disloyal.

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So it turns out these guys haven’t spoken to each other in years. Even so, Wojciech is pretty brave for calling his father’s comments “idiotic” in a public forum. Most sons would would spend the rest of their lives in fear, looking over their shoulder, waiting for a smack to the back of the head for such a crime. Maybe it’s a cultural thing.