Eight-year-old special Norwegian child Martin “Probably Still Drinks Milk” Ødegaard made history today when he came on as a second half substitute for Cristiano Ronaldo during Real Madrid’s 7-3 demolition of a Spanish team that isn’t Barcelona, Atlético Madrid, Sevilla, or a team that starts with a “V.” Whoever the grown men were facing Madrid, they lost to a team featuring a Norwegian child and Chicharito. That’s heart-breaking.
Carlo Ancelotti’s decision to bring on the eight-year-old sensation made Ødegaard the youngest player to ever make an appearance for Madrid’s first team. Here are Young Milk’s (no. 41) touches:
Some impressive touches for a fetus, right?
But perhaps the most impressive thing about Ødegaard’s first-team debut was that a young, blond Norwegian boy started a game for Madrid — as in the Real Madrid. The Real Madrid featuring the guy who scored 61 goals in one season and sadly was still only the second-best player in the league, by some distance.
What other eight-year-old wee people live this kind of life? What gods (Soccer Gods) must one pray to in order to be bestowed with the kind of fortune that allows you to learn from Gareth Bale’s litany of crimes against soccer (and Ronaldo)?
Bless this Norwegian child, folks. And recognize that Young Milk already gets more body language love from the team father than Gareth Bale. Watch the opening portion of the video above again. Focus on the hug. It’s real. It’s supportive. It’s passionate.
Make no mistake, this boy has a future in Madrid.
Note: Young Milk is actually 16 years old.