BREAKING NEWS: Radamel Falcao got a haircut

Sound the 🚨Things We Knew Already🚨 alarm! There is new evidence that Radamel Falcao is leaving the soft confines of Manchester United’s bench. This news doesn’t come to us from his agent, or some club representative. Falcao has chosen a less traditional but possibly more reliable outlet: his barber.

Nuevo look #newstyle #mybaby #loveyou #fashion

A photo posted by Lorelei (@loreleitaron) on

You know what they say: “New look; new you.” I don’t know who “they” is, because I don’t hang around people who say shit like that, but you get the point.

Con mi esposo en la gala ❤️❤️❤️

A photo posted by Lorelei (@loreleitaron) on

These photos of Falcao in his best “Would you like any parmesan cheese on your pasta, sir?” tuxedo came courtesy of his wife Lorelei Taron’s Instagram account on Tuesday. The important hair-gram was delivered today, by Falcao himself, via a selfie.

After deciding that the new Willow filter was the best way to showcase his new cut, Falcao dropped this secretive caption, “To make changes and decisions in life is not easy! But there are times when you have to do it! Just risk it!”

Drastic haircuts are almost always a sign of life changes. Either Falcao is changing teams, or about to go on his own personal Eat, Pray, Love. journey. Maybe both.