You know how they say that the drunk you is the real you? Well, Drunk Louis van Gaal is the man we’ve been waiting for, as we found out from his exceptionally entertaining speech to close out today’s Manchester United Player of the Year Awards.
One of the great things about being Dutch is that, when speaking English, no one can tell whether you are sober or drunk. But van Gaal isn’t just any Dutch person; he’s the kind of Dutch person who manages Ajax, Barcelona, Bayern Munich and Manchester United. He’s the kind of Dutch person who makes your eyes light up when you realize he’s probably ingested roughly 8,000 adult drinks and is on the verge of accepting bets to wrestle a rhino in the nude while backpacking through Southern Africa. I’m pretty sure saxophone lady can vouch for this.
What am I talking about? Watch this:
Editor’s note: oh wait, you can’t. Manchester United has removed all public video relating to this event. Embarrassed, perhaps?
Here’s how it went down. Louis van Gaal roared “WE’RE VERY CLOSE” to closing the gap on Chelsea before leaving the microphone behind. But then he came back. And had this to say:
I want to say something. Pay attention to the manager – Ryan Giggs said to me, and he is always right but in this case particularly right. I have said to you – you are the best fans in the world but tonight I was a little bit disappointed and I shall say why.
I have seen a lady who plays the saxophone fantastically. Give her big applause.
And the fans, slightly confused, no doubt, applauded.
Perhaps you’re saying to yourself, “No way I’d want to be managed by this level of intensity.” But that’s probably why you’ll never be world-class at anything. But here’s something I think we can all agree on: You need Drunk van Gaal giving multiple speeches at your wedding.
Now you’ll have to excuse me. I need to go start working on a business plan.