James Rodríguez claims everybody wants to play with Gareth Bale, which is probably a lie

Ahead of Real Madrid’s Champions League semifinal second leg against Juventus, James Rodríguez is telling press conference lies to keep the peace in Madrid. Here’s the world’s most adorable midfielder on Gareth Bale’s agent’s comments about Madrid players not passing to the Welsh sensation (via Marca):

“I saw nothing of what was said, it’s the first time that I have heard it. We all want to play with him. Cristiano, Chicharito…all of us are a team and we have to be united. One cannot comment on what is said outside. We have to be focused. Tomorrow is going to be an epic match, unique and we should be focused so that it all goes well.”

First things first. These are lies. Everyone knows that no one at Real Madrid likes Gareth Bale. Especially Cristiano Ronaldo. These are facts. Not because Bale is some sort of bastard (he’s not), but because he’s just not the right kind of superhero. He’s an outcast in the Justice League.

Second, Chicharito. Chicharito just wants to play with anyone. After spending months approaching his “eat by” date, Chicharito is just happy to play. To suggest that he wants to play with Bale is an egregious overstatement. It’s no accident that he said “we have to be united,” even though he probably said it in Spanish. What he meant was “Bale has to be at United.”

The rest of what he said is probably true. Otherwise, James, the boy wonder, is telling lies.

Stay woke.

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