Creepin’ on the `Gram: David Beckham just joined Instagram, and his first post is a lie

It wasn’t too long ago that underwear model extraordinaire David Beckham was blowing up his son’s spot on Instagram. Brooklyn Beckham was simply making an Instagram video to celebrate reaching one million followers. His father — only sporting a Facebook account at the time — shamed him. It was almost as if the godfather of underwear had a grudge against social media. I mean what kind of #personality #brand doesn’t have a Twitter or Instagram?

But it seems the Brand Beckham is ready to embrace the future.

Welcome to The David Beckham Instagram Era.

The former England captain joined the Instagrams on May 2, the morning of his 40th birthday. And of course this is Beckham’s first post. It’s authentic Beckham. He’s just a regular human who sleeps, just like the rest of us. And then he wakes up, joins Instagram, and posts his first picture.

But there’s one problem: Mr. Beckham didn’t wake up looking like this.

Look at the hair. Does that look like “I just woke up” hair? Our Instagram Investigative Unit doesn’t think so. Maybe Dave didn’t shower or brush his teeth at the time of the photo. Maybe there’s no makeup involved. Maybe he actually really just woke up. But the man, without question, gave his hair some attention prior to taking this picture. That much is clear.

If we can’t trust the authenticity of Instagram posts, our society is doomed. That’s why David Beckham, as the top-ranked human in the solar system, needs to be a leader in this space. Under Beckham’s social media leadership, we can all learn to trust each other again. But the foundation has to be honesty. Hopefully, Dave learns this lesson soon, because we all need saving. Yes, especially you.

Anyway, Happy Birthday, Dave.