Karl-Heinz Rummenigge’s ideal Champions League opponent: Anybody but Atlético

Most fans would say a Barcelona-Bayern Munich matchup in the UEFA Champions League semifinals is slight let-down, as two legs may dilute the intensity of a winner-take-all neutral field final. But one person who seems pretty OK with today’s draw is Bayern Munich president Karl-Heinz Rummenigge. Confident in his club’s ability to take out any of the biggest and baddest remaining in Europe, Ruummenigge is standing at the top of a wrestling ring, dressed like The Rock, telling Europe to “Just bring it.”

I don’t have a preferred opponent, but I also think that nobody will want to play against us. These are the best teams that Europe has to offer, I am excited to be thinking about the semi-finals.”

There was one opponent Ruummenigge was happy to avoid. Thankfully for FCB’s president, that opponent was eliminated on Wednesday.

“The last thing I wanted was to have played against Atlético, football is about joy and entertainment and that something the club does not believe in.”

That’s petty, Karl-Heinz. So very petty. Atlético Madrid is already in the process of healing the wounds of being eliminated by its arch rival by a measly 1-0 aggregate score. It doesn’t need Rummenigge getting in front of microphones calling the team joyless. Besides, who isn’t entertained by the soap opera that is Fernando Torres?

Though it is strange to take a shot at a team you have no real history with, the world is a better place when club executives say publicly inflammatory things about other organizations. Unfortunately for Rummenigge, his quote makes him sound like the smallest kid on the playground who got word that the school bully was sick, so he didn’t have to worry about getting a wedgie for a few days. It sounds like deep down, Rummenigge believes Atlético’s working man approach would have made them a particularly troublesome opponent for his stylish Bayern boys.

Somehow, I don’t think Rummenigge would have anything slanderous to say if he knew that Arda Turan and his beard were prowling the same midfield occupied by his dainty flowers any time soon. In that case, he would act more like Smokey from Friday when Deebo shows up: “I’ll be quiet … but when he leave … I’ll be talking again.”