18 signs you are a true Liverpool fan

1. You know which two things football is much more important than

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2. You think John Barnes is a better rapper than Kanye West

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3. You think the media is conducting a conspiracy against you

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4. You have an innate hatred of richer more successful people than you

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5. You think your wit is better than everyone else’s

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6. You know that 96 is the most poignant number in the world

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7. You get choked up when Andy Dufresne says, “Hope is the greatest of things”

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8. All your heroes are now in their 60s

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9. You wave banners that make people you admire look like socialist leaders

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10. You had or wanted a perm in the 1980s

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11. You say “that’s boss” when something is good

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12. You can understand Jamie Carragher perfectly well and think he talks a lot of sense

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13. You know who Rodgers and Hammerstein are and why that’s important

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14. Adopting Johnny Cash and Beach Boys songs amuses you, just, because

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15. You think all footballers today would look and play much better if they sported mustaches.

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16. You know there’s only one “way” to play football

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17. You know why there are 18 reasons on this list …

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18. … and you live off successes from at least 20 years ago

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