An argument against climate change deniers, as told in Taylor Swift lyrics

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This past Sunday, Taylor Swift performed at the Academy of Country Music Awards, prompting critics to tweet in anger about Swift having the audacity to still accept a country award. But stop hating Taylor Swift! Taylor’s got that good girl thing and a tight little skirt. She shows people incredible things!

We’ve only got mad love for Taylor, and if you keep hating, then all you’re ever gonna be is mean. Plus, there are way more important places to direct your hate hate hate hate hate. Like climate change deniers in public office!

In fact, we can take Taylor and just use her lyrics to construct an argument against people turning a blind eye to climate change – namely, state agencies in Florida and Wisconsin who have banned its acknowledgement.

You can tell us when it’s over if the high was worth the pain. Please, take our hand and we’ll take you dancing through this.

In the increasingly burning red state of Wisconsin, the commissioners of public lands voted to ban work on anything related to global warming and climate change. Wisconsin, we can read you like a magazine.

And we get it – new money never goes out of style. But when you refuse to acknowledge climate change, you make heartbreak the national anthem.

Meanwhile, the Florida department of environmental protection alleges its employees have been instructed to put a blank space where the words “climate change” and “global warming” used to be.

Yes, that’s the department of environmental protection. That’s a weird name for a place that can’t discuss climate change – kind of like a nightmare dressed like a daydream.

Now, Republican Florida Governor Rick Scott says he never banned the department from using the words “climate change” and global warming,” but employees say otherwise. Is someone lying on the cold hard ground?

Listen, we don’t know about you, but we’re feeling sort of ew. How could any agency ignore the disastrous effects of climate change. How many Starbucks lovers do you need to tell you this is insane?

We’re just gonna shake.

And meanwhile, we want these organizations to know the world is not just another picture to burn, and that there are strangers watching. And whispers are turning to talking. And talking is turning to screams.

So will the words “climate” and “change” ever, ever, ever get back together? Who knows.

We can make the bad guys good for a weekend, but Band-aids don’t fix bullet holes. This is serious, long-term trouble, trouble, trouble.

If these and other groups keep refusing to acknowledge global warming, we’ll all be getting down to some sick heat that will leave us breathless and make us want to go back to December.

And then, it’ll be too late for the Florida Department of Environmental Protection and its white horse to come around and realize that everything has changed.


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