Transfer reality: Memphis Depay will not end up at Liverpool

Liverpool is going to join the race for Memphis Depay, according to every paper in the world. That’s probably a good idea. After all, he’s a very good young player. Who wouldn’t want that?

But as good of an idea that is, it’s also hilariously naive. And adorable. Awwww, Liverpool.

Brendan Rodgers still has the Reds chasing players like Depay – a 21-year-old Dutch attacker who will be one of the most sought-after players in this summer’s transfer market. He thinks that players who could go to Manchester United might sign for Liverpool instead. His mind must be a chocolate-filled world of puppies and rainbows.

Here’s the thing: Liverpool isn’t going to make the Champions League. And that’s pretty much a killer when it comes to these matters.

Liverpool might be a wonderful place for the PSV winger. He could be very successful there, and the Reds may pay him a lot of money to be a star. Either he teams with Raheem Sterling or he is “The Man” in the wake of Sterling’s departure. Either way, it’s not a bad landing spot for the Dutchman.

But it’s a landing spot that sees him playing on Thursdays, not Tuesdays and Wednesdays. And that makes all the difference.

Manchester United, like most good clubs, also wants Depay. And it can offer more money than Liverpool. It is going to spend an insane amount of money this summer, and Depay is a reportedly a priority. The club can also reunite him with his former national team manager, Louis van Gaal, who coached him at the World Cup last summer. Oh, and on top of all of that, Manchester United can offer the Champions League.

And if Manchester United don’t buy Depay, Paris Saint-Germain will. That club has this crazy thing where it can offer a life in Paris. Plus, nobody ever outbids them. And it also offers that Champions League thing.

In fact, there are a lot of Champions League teams who want Depay. They all have a lot of money, too; at least as much as Liverpool. And they’re all pretty damn good, with great managers and fans. They’re incredible landing spots, and each one can offer him the chance to be crowned a champion of Europe.

So Liverpool is in on Depay. That’s cute.

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