I’m going to disagree with my own headline (which I wrote) and stipulate not all scoreless soccer games are created equal. Still, some are capable of causing deep existential trauma.
We can only assume Doncaster Rovers’ 0-0 with Fleetwood Town fits that description, because after the English third-tier clubs’ weekend draw, Doncaster posted this nugget to YouTube, presumably saving us from questioning whether we’re making the most of our few minutes on Earth:
Players take the field. Game’s kicked off. Final whistle blows. I’m not sure we needed the first part, but if Doncaster’s communications department is about to be known for anything, it’s being thorough.
Obviously, early reviews of this cinematic masterclass have been unanimous in their praise:
One point for the result; three points for the #bantz.