A soccer player not named Luis Suárez just got banned for biting dudes

English soccer’s sorely (and we use that word deliberately) missed Luis Suárez since he left Liverpool for Barcelona, but don’t worry because the country’s developed its home-grown equivalent.

Not in front of goal, of course. In biting.

Midfield mastication maestro Joss Labadie has been handed a six-month ban by the English Football Association for chowing down on his second opponent in less than a year.

Like Suárez after he bit Chelsea’s Branislav Ivanović in 2013, Labadie was handed a 10-match suspension after biting Chesterfield’s Ollie Banks while playing for Torquay during a fourth-tier fixture last season.

Labadie, whose name is quite possibly French for “The Baddie,” moved on to Dagenham. He was still hungry, though, and apparently sunk his teeth into one of Stevenage defender Ronnie Henry’s hands during a game at the one-hyphen-away-from-being-amusingly-named Lamex Stadium on March 28.

According to a report in the Guardian, “The pair clashed near the touchline when Henry tried to wrestle the ball out of Labadie’s arms after play had been stopped. Henry immediately appeared to signal to the nearby assistant referee that he had been bitten.’

It’ll be quite some time before the 24-year-old’s able to emulate Suárez and go for the hat trick: “Labadie pleaded not guilty to the charge but the FA has found against him and he will be out until mid-October.”


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