Watch this video showing Real Madrid’s training base and become depressed by what a dump you live in

So you haven’t hacked into the La Residencia cameras to provide your own streaming video of Real Madrid’s training base yet? That’s okay, because adidas has you covered. It convinced Álvaro Arbeloa, Asier Illarramendi, and Nacho to give a tour. But be warned: if you watch, you’ll never again be satisfied with your own slovenly digs again.

We learned some very important things from this video. First, when Real Madrid players are resting up before a big match, they don’t need to fear pranks being pulled on them by their teammates. To enter one of the rooms, the player’s fingerprint is required, making it near-impossible to break in without some twisted Hannibal Lector-type skills. Ashley Young might want to consider getting La Real to buy him.

Each room – and let’s remember, these are only rooms provided for the players to go and relax in after training or before a match, not their actual casas, which probably look more like the place Steven Gerrard’s about to snag – has its own little mini living room, a bathroom that’s probably bigger than your apartment, and a TV that personally welcomes the player (and probably suggests his favorite movies as well).

The only sign that the players aren’t living in total luxury is out on the balcony. Illarramendi explains he has to share it with “another player.” He leaves out the name of said other player, but we’re betting it’s not Cristiano Ronaldo. Even though they insist all the rooms inside La Residencia are the same, we’re betting Ronaldo’s persuaded the club to give him some extra perks. More shelving in the bathroom? Extra drawers to hold his vast selection of underwear?

Okay. Enjoy going back to the dusty, dim rooms you call an apartment.