Hold on to your beers and clutch your pearls, because we’ve got ourselves a real shocker of a news item. As you read this, I pray that you are in the company of friends, family or whoever you rely on as your support system.
In a press conference yesterday, Chelsea manager and chief nihilist José Mourinho admitted something so stunning that its fair to assume he didn’t know the dozens of microphones in front of him were actually turned on. The blue boss admitted that Chelsea *gasp* considers outside commercial interests when it comes to buying new players.
In February, Chelsea signed a 220 million pound sponsorship deal with Japanese tire (and other Japanese stuff) company Yokohama. Since, then-FC Tokyo president Naoki Ogane has confirmed that an offer — rumored to be worth four million pounds — has come in for 22-year-old Japanese international Yoshinori Muto.
Is this a coincidence? Certainly not.
At no point during this sanctity crushing, innocence-destroying press conference did Mourinho stop to think about the children. Instead, he opted for the “there is no Santa Claus and all of your childish notions are silly” approach.
“If a FC Tokyo manager talks about my player I wouldn’t be happy. It is not nice for me to speak about other players.
“In modern football, and football is a business, an industry, you have to think about the financial situation, especially a club like Chelsea that wants to be in the rules like Financial Fair Play.
“But we want to win matches and don’t get a player unless he is a good player or a good prospect.”
Any coach who utters the phrase “modern football” in public is probably in cahoots with the devil (or Roman Abramovich). Soccer as we know it may ever be the same. It’s best to look back and remember the good times, when players were signed based on what a head scout saw on YouTube.