Cristiano Ronaldo’s new underwear might change your life

Cristiano Ronaldo hasn’t had the best 2015. His girl left him, Real Madrid lost the top spot in La Liga, his girl left him, his scoring levels had dropped to mere mortal status, his girl left him, and he suffered an embarrassing loss to rivals Barcelona. On top of all of that, his girl left him. Times were tough for Mr. Ballon d’Or, but the past week appear to be signaling the beginning of his return to form.

In the last few days, Cristiano has offered the quintessential Ronaldo trifecta: A new haircut, a merciless five-goal performance against a helpless Granada, and today, the surest sign of all that he is indeed back from a rather glum few months – a gratuitous shot of himself in underwear on Twitter.

Ronaldo also scored against Rayo Vallecano yesterday, but that screws up my trifecta theme, so I’m mentioning it here, in a different paragraph. Besides, you probably haven’t read a single word of this anyway. You clicked for the picture, not words. That’s OK. We don’t have to pretend. But, I would be remiss to not point out that microfiber fabric against one’s loins could be a key to success and prosperity that has thus far been overlooked. Might have to buy a pack of these and see if my life changes for the better.