Even more surprising than the fact that ex-Liverpool and Italy defender Andrea Dossena is playing for Leyton Orient is the news that he’s been arrested on suspicion of shoplifting.
If the allegation proves true, at least the 33-year-old’s keeping it classy. Not for Dossena, the electronic toothbrush under the coat at Walmart, or the cellphone casually placed in the pocket at BestBuy. (Or whatever the British BestBuy equivalent is; “Jolly Good Purchase, Old Chap”, probably.)
No, he and his wife were held for alleged involvement in a five-finger discount deal at top London posh-person department store, Harrods.
According to reports, his agent said it was all a mistake – it seems their child put a book in his bag without them realizing, and it set off alarms as they left the store. The two were released on bail pending further inquiries.
(A later statement from Dossena insists all this nonsense was over nothing. It seems he forgot to pay for a jar of honey and some cold cuts, and was taken to the police station because he did not have his identity documents with him at the time. But, really, who goes to Harrods without all their paperwork in order?)
However, as Dossena’s now playing for the team sitting 20th in the English third division – only twelve months after his most recent Premier League appearance, for Sunderland – this probably isn’t the most embarrassing thing to happen to Dossena in recent times.
Nor is this the strangest shoplifting story involving a soccer player in England, not by a long way. Not when there’s the tale of Steven Caulker being handcuffed for a misunderstanding over a tub of Philadelphia cream cheese.
Or David De Gea apparently eating a Krispy Kreme donut and not paying for it.
Or, weirdest of them all, Dossena’s ex-Anfield teammate, England international Glen Johnson, being fined by police for trying to steal a toilet seat and faucets from the UK equivalent of the Home Depot.