Roberto Mancini cancelled Inter’s Easter

I’m not really a religious scholar. Surprise! I know, you’re shocked. However, I have been inside churches, have an uncle who used to be a big shot in the East African Presbyterian church, and have a dad who professors religious-y things. I’m no expert on “the word,” but I’m also no novice in the teachings and traditions of widely read spiritual things.

Still, I’m more than comfortable acknowledging my shortcomings. Here’s one: I had absolutely no idea that Inter Milan manager Roberto Mancini could cancel Easter. In my mind, that type of call was squarely in the domain of the Pope, Vladimir Putin, Sepp Blatter, and anyone who can reasonably be referred to as “the Almighty.” Apparently, I still have many things to learn.

This past Saturday, Inter faced Parma, a team you may be familiar with from recent news about Parma having sell its belongings because it needs to liquidate to pay bills, or Parma being all the way down at the dank bottom of the Serie A table, in 20th place, 11 points off of 19th place. Mancini’s team, despite Parma’s highly questionable resume, drew 1-1.

As you might imagine, this didn’t please the often stern-looking Italian. Mancini responded to the setback by saying ”NO EASTER FOR YOU” and called a practice got 8:30 a.m. on Easter Sunday. As one does.

Commenting on Mancini’s decision, Inter sporting director Piero Ausilio said:

“No rest at Easter? The players have rested the day before the match, so it is right that they train. We are working towards the future and these last nine games will help all of us judge and understand who is an Inter player and who isn’t.”

He continued:

“If they want to wear this shirt, then they can’t fail at San Siro, It’s our home, with our public and we shouldn’t be afraid of anyone.”

Again, I’m no religious scholar, but what about the almighty upstairs? Shouldn’t Mancini maybe be afraid of the Almighty? There are so many levels of blasphemy in this story.

Unless — wait, now this is all making sense — unless the Almighty is actually Roberto Mancini, which would explain why he can cancel Easter without fear of retribution. It’s why Ausilio knows that Inter can and should play without fear.

You should probably sit down right now, because it’s not good to stand when your mind is blown.