FT: Liverpool 1 – 2 Manchester United || This picture sums up this game. It made very little sense. Very little. It was a game of highly paid chickens running around with their heads cut off, except for Herrera and Juan Mata. The game was so purely English.
*exhale* There are more games. The day is only beginning. Next we have Germans: Bayern Munich vs. Borussia Mönchengladbach. We’ll be live blogging over here, so click on this, because that’s how the internet works.
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Emre Can clatters into Blind, which I suppose is to try to make up for getting embarrassed earlier. Rooney takes the penalty.
Mignolet saves. And this half of madness goes on …
It’s ridiculous to say that Di Maria needs to retire, but it’s starting to feel like Manchester has killed his soul, forcing him down the road toward retirement. If he stays, I fear he’ll become a mechanic in three years in downtown Manchester. No one will believe him when he says I used to play for United and Madrid.
This is the tactics man, Mr. Zonal Marking, with the proper analysis.
This certainly doesn’t feel like 11 v. 10 out there. The 5-Hour Energy is wearing off. But I guess one can expend 5 hours of energy in 87 minutes. I’m no scientist, but they offered science classes near me once.
Falcao on for United. So many unlikely heroes on the field right now. Some playing for pride, some playing for transfers, some playing for exercise. A Falcao goal would be interesting, too. I wonder if he’d cry.
Smalling sort of gives Balotelli a shove into the boards. Balotelli wasn’t happy. The fans, however, recognized the situation and stepped in. That’s good fan, right there.
Colorado Rapids goalkeeper Clint Irwin gets it.
REWIND: Praise be to Steve Gerrard.
Liverpool 1 – 2 Manchester United || What. Jordan Henderson plays in Sturridge on the right and Danny Sturridge beats De Gea at the near post. We have a game, thanks to Steven Gerrard.
There’s plenty of time left for Balotelli to be hero and for Gerrard to get the credit.
The only thing left to hope for is this, if you enjoy entertainment.
Skrtel: “I’ll take the card, Martin.”
List of people Martin Skrtel could have been yelling at: Steven Gerrard, Martin Atkinson.
List of people Martin Skrtel should have been yelling at: Steven Gerrard.
Liverpool 0 – 2 Manchester United || Juan Mata just scored an outrageous goal. His next manager will use this as a reason to sign him before placing him on the bench. Someone please love Juan Mata.
Phil Jones is a reckless maniac out there. He just clatters into anything around him and somehow is still on the field. But you get to continue playing when your dad coaches.
10-man Liverpool is arguably better than 11-man Liverpool, and definitely better than 11-man Liverpool with Steven Gerrard.
This man can’t catch a break.
Steven Gerrard with the greatest substitution performance of all time. He lasts 32 seconds before a crap tackle gets him a red card. That is phenomenal. Gerrard is trying to get to Los Angeles ASAP, apparently.
Thanks to Phil Jones, Gerrard is on for the second.
What else is going on out there? Well, I firmly believe this …
Meanwhile, internet detectives have discovered more information about Pele at Anfield.
Daley Blind doing a poor man’s Messi. This is hilarious but it also feels like two kids working on Messi moves.
HT: Liverpool 0 – 1 Manchester United || United has done will, showing that it’s possible its performance against Tottenham last week wasn’t a fluke. But still, one Phil Jones catastrophe can ruin everything. Or Chris Smalling, really.
Meanwhile on the United bench, the South Americans are preparing plans to escape Manchester. If you’ve ever seen Victory, maybe something like that. Or maybe they’re just going to run away at halftime. I’m not sure they’ll be missed as United look relatively comfortable out there and not in any need of a Rojo, Di Maria, or Falcao, at least on the form they’ve shown recently.
If you aren’t able to watch this game, here’s the general feel: Take 22 people. Bathe them all in a tub of 5-Hour Energy. Then force all 22 players to drink several gallons of 5-Hour Energy. Now kidnap their families and tell them that their workrate will determine if their families survive.
That’s what’s going on out on the field.
Liverpool did this to itself. This really is the problem. Looks like he’s out there looking for the next Ballon d’Or winner.
It’s quite the open game out there. And the scoreline should please DC United goalkeeper Bill Hamid, an out United fan.
But it’s questionable how much Hamid actually likes United because there’s no way he can see the TV from there.
I think I’ve found Liverpool’s problem:
An important question posed by our Brent Maximin.
There’s a pause in play after Phil Jones runs over Adam Lallana at midfield while attempting to play a ball floated in by Sakho. Jones basically shrugged. But now Steven Gerrard is warming up. Or maybe that’s the outcome Jones wanted.
REWIND: Liverpool 0 – 1 Manchester United || Will Juan Mata’s opener convince his manager that he can play soccer? What else does this man have to do?
This Rooney lookalike was once one of the most productive players in the Premier League. Now he’s had to undergo deconstructive surgery to get back in the United team. No man should have to look like Wayne.
The most interesting thing out there is that for some reason Brendan Rodgers is playing 67 people in midfield.
The majesty of Anfield, where even the pitch bleeds LFC red.
The majesty of Anfield, where even the pitch bleeds LFC red.
We’re off at Anfield, where attempts to prove United has an actual midfield are getting a little patronizing.
It’s being overshadowed by today’s game in Barcelona, but the North West Derby has its own weighty history (that everybody knows), as well as significant stakes. Here’s the top of the English Premier League table going into today’s game:
That place Manchester United is currently holding down? That’s the last coveted Champions League spot the EPL has to offer. Liverpool can take control of it today. Kickoff at Anfield is at 9:30 a.m. Eastern.
NBCSN has the coverage.