Live blog, New England vs. Montréal: Life without Jermaine


Kevin Brown March 21, 20155:07 pm

FT: New England 0-0 Montreal

Both teams entered today’s game with no goals and no wins and they will leave the same way. Hug your loved ones and give thanks for surviving 90min of that. You made it. 

I’ll be back for Orlando City vs. Vancouver at 7:30pm ET.

Kevin Brown March 21, 20155:01 pm

4 more minutes? ALRIGHT!
It really isn’t necessary. I think we can let this one die peacefully.

Kevin Brown March 21, 20154:50 pm

“Blah blah blah winter schedule”

Kevin Brown March 21, 20154:48 pm

This game isn’t giving me much to talk about, so here’s Jermaine Jones’ baby making some dope art.

Kevin Brown March 21, 20154:41 pm

Lee Nguyen out here looking like a Mario Bros. 2 onion.

Kevin Brown March 21, 20154:36 pm

ONE shot on goal this half. Much more of this and I’m asking Don Garber to pay for my internet service.

Kevin Brown March 21, 20154:34 pm

Andrés Romero has a neck tattoo. Should have been a defensive midfielder.

Kevin Brown March 21, 20154:32 pm
No, Mr. Camara, this is not permitted in The Major League Soccer.
That’s his 2nd yellow. Maybe facing 10 men at home is what the Revs need to actually score a goal this season.

Kevin Brown March 21, 20154:20 pm

Hahaha. “Running willy nilly” was just used as a technical term. 

Kevin Brown March 21, 20154:16 pm

And we’re back for the 2nd half. It sounded like they were playing “Africa” at Gillette Stadium a second ago. They probably weren’t, but I’m posting this anyway.

Kevin Brown March 21, 20154:05 pm

HT: New England 0-0 Montreal

A half of two halves. NE better early on, with MTL dominating the ball late. Not much by way of clear chances for either side, with just 3 total shots on goal for both teams.

The Revs seem to have too many guys with the same idea going forward and they’re tripping over themselves in true early season fashion.

Montreal is…Montreal.

Kevin Brown March 21, 20153:56 pm

Announcer just criticized Dom Oduro for “only” having 48 career goals. That’s fun. *puts on headphones*

Kevin Brown March 21, 20153:54 pm

Team-sponsored boozing, yet critics insist that MLS isn’t growing.

Kevin Brown March 21, 20153:52 pm

Jay Heaps always looks like he’s trying to figure out the punchline of a joke. It’s great.

Kevin Brown March 21, 20153:49 pm

Just wanted to post a chart to make this look classy.

Kevin Brown March 21, 20153:46 pm

Is Opta keeping stats on “You Suck Asshole” for 2015?

Kevin Brown March 21, 20153:41 pm

Shout out to Jeremy Hall. Never going to be your star, but always good enough to get a check. Respect.

Kevin Brown March 21, 20153:38 pm

You know Nguyen is really good at soccer because he’s mastered fancy foot movement that leads to nothing.

Kevin Brown March 21, 20153:36 pm

This is problematic. Suddenly NE’s early struggles are making sense.

Kevin Brown March 21, 20153:32 pm

Bad times for Cameron Porter. He’ll be OK, though. With that name, he’ll be a Congressman in no time. Jack McInerney in for Mount Royal.

Kevin Brown March 21, 20153:30 pm

Impact medical dude has a gig with his Feet Foxes cover band later tonight.

Kevin Brown March 21, 20153:26 pm

15 minutes and no Montreal FWD has been called offside. Miss U di Vaio.

Kevin Brown March 21, 20153:23 pm

Nice try from Agudelo. Being a family man now has him trying all sorts of new shit. Happy for him.

Kevin Brown March 21, 20153:22 pm

The subject of our next When They Mattered feature: Diego Fagundez

Kevin Brown March 21, 20153:20 pm

SOOOO close to Agudelo missing 6 weeks with an exploded groin.

Kevin Brown March 21, 20153:16 pm

Would be incredible if we’ve entered the era of Eric Alexander being America’s greatest attacking midfielder.

Kevin Brown March 21, 20153:11 pm

“Lemme ask ya…are you happy with your current insurance coverage?”

Kevin Brown March 21, 20153:07 pm

Based solely of haircut, Bobby Shuttleworth isn’t to be trusted. Somewhere between American Psycho and Clockwork Orange. Stay away.

Kevin Brown March 21, 20153:04 pm

This game is already great. Paul Mariner is dressed like a member of the Addams Family.

Kevin Brown March 21, 20152:56 pm

Opta Omens in favor of the Revs. Always important.

Kevin Brown March 21, 20152:44 pm

Meanwhile the French Canadian Champions and Saviors of CONCACAF are trotting out…some guys. Alexander the #10, Dom “Don’t trade me, bro” Oduro are ready to engage in the MLS formation du jour.

Back in my day, you had a diamond midfield, and you liked it! None of this 4-2-3-1 malarkey.

Kevin Brown March 21, 20152:38 pm

No Jermaine Jones again for the Revs. Don’t know why this game wasn’t postponed. Really, the whole league should halt until Jermeezus is back at full strength.

New England, my pick to win All The Trophies in 2015, has yet to score a goal after 180min, so that’s great. I’m a professional.

Kevin Brown March 21, 20152:34 pm


It’s Week 3 (already) and neither team has claimed a win yet. Any other league and we’re probably be writing one of these teams off for the rest of 2015 after today. Thankfully, MLS is a loving and forgives past mistakes. Every team in MLS goes through at least one 5-game winless streaks, one of these squads is just getting it over with early. Efficient.