Kévin Parsemain was done dirty by the Seattle Sounders

Do you know who Kévin Parsemain is? Neither do I. That doesn’t matter, though, because I am a deeply compassionate person and feel nothing but the utmost levels of sympathy for the now-former Seattle Sounders forward.

Parsemain has suffered the ultimate indignity. He was fired from his job on a Friday. Few feelings are worse. You’re getting ready for the weekend and making big plans with your people, only to get a call that says you need to go to the human resources office with your ID card. Next thing you know, you’re at home, questioning your financial decisions and second guessing that last pair of leather pants you bought.

The Sounders handled this with the subtlety of their green jerseys. Not only did the team dump Parsemain on a Friday, but they did it on Twitter, even making sure to @ him, just to be sure he has this new age pink slip in his mentions. They included a picture, too, just in case you had any questions about who was unemployed.

What if Kévin Parsemain has “friends” on Twitter. Seattle loves themselves some Sounders, so people are going to see this. Now he has to walk around town — with people already flooding his mentions with jokes — knowing that someone at Trader Joe’s is pointing at him like “That’s the dude that just got cut by the Sounders! Can he really afford that brand of peanut butter?”

No one should have to live like that. Be more compassionate, Seattle.