Zlatan Ibrahimovic apologized for insulting France. Kind of.

Zlatan Ibrahimovic hates France. That’s why far, far, far, far, far, far, far right politician Marine Le Pen, leader of the France’s National Front party, wants the Paris Saint-Germain forward to leave the country. Because if you don’t like it, foreigner, then get the f*** out. That’s pretty much the National Front slogan.

After Paris Saint-Germain’s weekend loss to Bordeaux, the outspoken Ibrahimovic called France a “shit country” while expressing his contempt for French referees. That was never going to go over well, especially among French patriots.

Thankfully, his outburst was caught by cameras, because the world is a better place when we know the Swede’s unfiltered thoughts about France. And everything else, really. In a perfect world, everything Ibrahimovic says should be captured on both audio and video. The man speaks the truth we all need to hear.

But unfortunately, the Paris Saint-Germain hero apologized. Again. And that’s what’s wrong with the world. Legends aren’t supposed to apologize, especially on camera.

But, as apologies go, unsurprisingly, it was a top-notch apology. It was the apology the world deserved.

“I was angry in that moment. Whoever felt offended, or took it in a wrong way — if they took it — I mean, I apologize for that.”

What does Zlatan not apologize for? What he actually said. However, he does apologize if you’re not smart enough to understand Zlatan. That’s why he prefaced the aforementioned statement with:

“I think the French people are intelligent enough to understand the situation.”

The brilliance of that comment is that if a French person doesn’t accept what Zlatan is saying, that person, by default, isn’t intelligent enough to understand the situation. Zlatan wins both ways. He’s right, or someone else is stupid.

While apologizing, Ibrahimovic also called himself “a man of honor,” which is accurate. He also said other important things:

“I have no regrets and nobody will change my opinion. From the first day I came, I had a good time and I will still have a good time. So don’t twist it. It’s about football we talk, so let’s focus on the football.”

He also included this important facial expression.

Screen Shot 2015-03-17 at 1.59.15 PMZlatan Ibrahimovic is a role model. Every country, including France, needs more people like him. Unfortunately, crazy French people who want to deport everyone —like Le Pen and her equally batshit crazy father — don’t understand that. But we understand, and know that, by calling France a “shit country,” Zlatan was only trying to help. If you’re intelligent enough to understand the situation, you also know that “Get the f*** out” is a terrible way to say “thank you.”

 

 

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