Fan at San Mámes wanted to trade his girlfriend for Cristiano Ronaldo’s shirt

Move over Sepp Blatter. Wwe have a new Worst Human In The Soccer World. This Athletic Bilbao thirstbucket showed up to the San Mámes for this weekend’s clash against Real Madrid holding a sign saying “Cristiano I’ll give you my girlfriend if you give me your shirt.” For whatever reason, he wasn’t immediately stoned by his fellow villagers or tossed in jail for crimes of indecency.

You girlfriend is not a commodity to trade on the open market, my friend. Was she in on this trade? If so, why didn’t she make the offer herself and cut out the middle man? If not, is she aware of what was written on the sign? I’d hate to think some poor lady is out there dating Super Creep unknowingly.

Ronaldo and Marcelo got a kick out of this guy, at least. Presumably, they were laughing at him, not with him. Ronny is still getting over a breakup that’s quickly derailing his playing career, so he knows better than to be unappreciative of a good girlfriend. Marcelo is riding high after finding out that Arielle Castillo made him this week’s Man Crush Monday, so he’s all set.

How long has these people’s relationship been going on? Has this man dipped his toes into the modern dating scene? It’s rough out here. People are Tindering or saying OK to Cupid or whatever, doing their best to fall in love with digital avatars and prove their worth with snappy one-liners in their profiles. Meanwhile, this fool has a woman willing to spend her weekend time watching an eighth place team, and he’s trying to swap here out like an over-worked mule at a farmer’s market. Arrest this man.